Today was another day. I learned a lot today. I'm starting to learn more and more as I progress with my meditations and become more observant. I am really starting to see the benefits of my meditation. The progress is very steady and at just the right pace. I understand why the technique shouldn't be mixed with anything and should be kept in its purity. Any substances you use to accelerate your insight are not gained by your own work. It's given to you by an external source and I really like that philosophy.
Recently I've been trying to deal with my financial issues and I've struggled with it for a while. I was constantly just barely scraping by and with the amount I was being paid it's not much but I managed to get by. I was at the gas station today and I got the insufficient funds message. My reaction to the message was much different than how i used to react. Instead of panicking and freaking out about how I had not enough money. I just saw it and asked "why?" I tracked down the root of it to my bank account and I realized that my insurance and car payment came out on the same day. So about 600$ at once. It may not be that much to some people but to me that is a big chunk. I didn't freak out but I just adjusted my situation and handled it. On the way home I was thinking about a solution to my financial problem and an insight came to me that I never thought of before. I realized that because I lived so far I had been taking my car to work everyday. I did a quick calculation and I saw that I had been spending about 20$ in gas everyday. 10$ to get to work , 10$ to get back. If you weren't paying attention it wouldn't seem like much at first . But 20$ a day over a month that's about 400$ a month in just gas. What the fuck. How have I not seen this before.? That doesn't even include the weekend. And now with my meditation I require less sleep. I can take the train and save SO MUCH. I can start paying back my debts I can start saving money. I can start allievieting all this stress I;ve been having over my financial issues. What's a 100$ transit pass per month vs 500$+ in gas? I mean that's a huge saving . Plus I can meditate on the train , I can read books, Listen to podcasts, I can sleep if I want to. Its such a huge benefit for me. Plus during the winter I wont have to use MORE gas to just get around. I can also avoid traffic too. Such a good idea. The benefits from the meditation practice are so subtle yet so huge.
I also hung out with my friends today and I was just able to chill and relax. I was just enjoying being in the present moment. My thoughts didn't really drift anywhere. I could just be present with the friends I call family. Something I used to always expect was for my friends to be perfect & have no flaws. I've realized that I've come to love the flaws and no one is perfect. The flaws are really features , and make them who they are. I in no way am perfect. I'm a flawed human being just like everyone else and that's okay. I make mistakes , I don't always make the right choices . But I learn from every choice I make. And it leads me in the right direction. I have trust in myself that I'll lead myself to a future where I can make positive impact on peoples lives and live a happy life. There's nothing I love more than bringing a smile to other peoples faces. Making others more happy and have more fulfiling lives would be nice. All it takes is patience. And i'm okay with that. Life moves at a pace that is juuuust right for me. No faster , no slower . Meditation has taught me a lot of these lessons. It's taught me to hold onto that space of peace within me and use that to guide me to the right place. It's taught me to live life and enjoy every single moment as it passes and the next one enters . Seamlessly like the frames of a movie. Moment to moment , Iife's moment's are shared with the friends around me and I get to enjoy the journey I call life. And what a gift it is to be able to experience it. This life is a gift given to me , so why not spend it in a state of gratitude? Sure life isn't perfect all the time , but we aren't either so why expect life to be? I'm still learning how to be in that state of gratitude constantly. Everyday it becomes easier. And my purpose becomes clearer and clearer each and everyday. Bless this life.
Stay humble , Stay blessed.