If I Stopped Trying to Prove Myself…

What would my life actually look like?

I’d write without worrying who might judge me.

I’d create because I love creating.

I’d chase experiences instead of approval.

I’d spend less time performing and more time living.

I’d understand how short life really is.

I’d stop fearing futures that may never exist.

I’d simply become more… me.

Maybe that’s what this season has really been about.

Not becoming someone new.

Remembering who I was before I believed I had something to prove.

Thank you for reading.

Stay humble.

Stay blessed.

The Question That Won’t Leave Me

Who am I when I stop trying to become someone?

I don’t fully know the answer yet.

For most of my life, I’ve been chasing the next version of myself.

If I make more money…

If I get into better shape…

If I buy the nicer car…

If I own the better house…

If I accomplish enough…

Then maybe I’ll finally feel like I’m enough.

Except that’s not how it works.

The finish line keeps moving.

There is always another goal.

Another achievement.

Another promotion.

Another milestone.

For thirty years I’ve been trying to earn the feeling that I was already worthy of having.

Lately I’ve realized something that feels almost embarrassingly simple.

I’m already enough.

Not because I’ve accomplished everything.

Not because I’ve become extraordinary.

Simply because I exist.

Now I still want to grow.

I still want to lift weights.

Build businesses.

Learn new skills.

Travel.

Write.

Create.

But the motivation has changed.

I’m no longer growing to prove I’m worthy.

I’m growing because growth is part of who I am.

I don’t work out to prove I’m strong.

I work out because I appreciate what my body is capable of.

That’s a very different way to live.

A Poem : Exposed

Shell cracked,
innards exposed.

Nothing but the rich yolk of life left to run.

At first glance,
a waste.
A shame.

You stare at the damage and think:

“That could’ve been something.”

Then you step back.

The yolk finds a pan.

Ingredients are added.

Suddenly the total becomes greater than its parts.

The fire performs its quiet alchemy.

Heat transforms.

What once looked broken becomes nourishment.

The egg that spent its life protected by its shell…

…is finally free.

What felt like destruction becomes transformation.

Fear becomes love.

Anxiety becomes anticipation.

Regret becomes gratitude.

Sometimes our souls collide with another’s.

Not only to give us beautiful moments…

…but to break us open.

It is inside the collision.

The chaos.

The mess.

Where something beautiful is made.

When the dust settles and your eyes adjust,

what looked like disorder

reveals itself

as art.

Thank you…

for the mess you made.

What My Relationship Taught Me

One realization that surprised me after my relationship ended was just how much of my energy had been dedicated to it.

Not because it was unhealthy.

Because I loved deeply.

Looking back, I don’t have regrets.

I have an incredible amount of gratitude for everything my relationship with Christal brought into my life.

The laughter.

The adventures.

The difficult conversations.

The heartbreak.

The growth.

Every moment shaped me into the person writing these words today.

Of course I’m sad it ended.

I genuinely wanted it to work.

But I’ve also come to appreciate something I recently read:

Don’t hope to find someone better than them. Hope to find someone better for you.

That sentence shifted something inside me.

Relationships aren’t competitions.

There isn’t a winner.

There isn’t a loser.

There are simply two people who choose one another for a season.

During that season, they help shape each other.

They witness each other’s growth.

They challenge one another.

They leave fingerprints on each other’s souls.

Then, sometimes, they continue writing their stories separately.

That doesn’t diminish what they shared.

If anything, it makes those moments even more meaningful.

Some people aren’t meant to stay forever.

Some people are meant to transform you.

And that’s enough.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

The Breakup Wasn’t the Lesson—I Was

I thought a breakup would give me more time.

More time to work on myself. More time to focus on my goals. More time to catch up on everything I had been putting off.

In many ways, it has.

But what I didn’t expect was that all of that extra time would force me to meet someone I hadn’t spent much time with lately.

Myself.

Somewhere along the way, life became busy. Not just with work, but with routines, responsibilities, and always chasing the next milestone. I stopped making time to simply sit with my thoughts. Reflection became something I’d get around to “when things slowed down.”

Eventually, they did.

And in the silence, I realized just how much of myself I had been neglecting.

Over the past few months, I’ve spent more time looking inward than I have in years. It’s been uncomfortable. Growth has a funny way of sounding exciting until it asks you to challenge everything you’ve believed about yourself.

Who am I?

What do I actually want?

What do I want this short life to look like?

Those questions don’t come with easy answers.

I’m almost 31 years old now. When I was in my early twenties, I imagined my life would look completely different by this point. Different career. Different milestones. Different timeline.

Instead, life had plans I never considered.

What’s funny is that while many of the things I expected never happened, so many things I never imagined did.

I’ve had experiences I couldn’t have dreamed of. I’ve met incredible people. I’ve learned lessons that no carefully planned roadmap could have taught me.

Maybe that’s the beauty of life.

Sometimes the detours end up becoming the destination.

Lately, I’ve found myself living in a place of surrender.

Not giving up.

Just letting go of the need to control every outcome.

Instead of obsessing over five years from now, I’ve been focusing on what’s directly in front of me. I’ve learned to trust my instincts more than I ever have before.

That may be the biggest lesson I’ve learned this year.

You can listen to experts.

Read every book.

Follow every successful person’s advice.

And there’s wisdom in all of it.

But at the end of the day, nobody knows you better than you do.

You’ve been there for every success, every failure, every heartbreak, every quiet victory.

Your voice deserves a seat at the table too.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

From thought to form

This is a topic that came up for me in a conversation with a friend and I want to bring it up and discuss it more in-depth . More so to dissect my understanding of it as well as connect more deeply with my own creativity. Which brings me to my topic of creativity , its a topic I am very passionate about and can cover so many areas . The idea or concept I want to hone in on is the ability to bring thought into form. The ability to create or come across a simple idea in ones head and being able to bring that thought/idea into reality. That I feel like is one of the core tenants of having a strong creative muscle. The better you are at doing this process over and over and over and over. The more you build your creative muscle and the more capacity you have to exercise your ability.

“Joyous tools are simple & repetitive” - Julia Cameron-

Continually engage with creating to create bigger projects

The funny thing that happens as you build your own confidence with being able to create your ideas and bring them into reality , is that you start to develop a inner confidence in yourself. An inner fire that slowly gets stoked and more fuel gets added to. The more fuel the hotter it becomes. But it all starts from small changes and small contributions . That’s all big success really is . A large number of small success that lead to a culmination of a “big success” . This is one reason why I feel that creativity is such a vital skill to harness and nurture in others. The power that it has to transform someone’s life is incredible . For example learning to find alternative solutions to creating a work of art , or coming up with a different way to create your vision . That translate to the rest of your life .

Creating art brings vibrancy to the rest of your life

Slowly what I’ve noticed in my personal life is as I engage with creativity more , and exercise my ideas more. I see it trickling down to other areas of my life. I become able to handle obstacles in my work better . I am able to come up with solutions for customers better. I don’t shy away from challenge and obstacles anymore , because I see them as an opportunity to expand my skills and abilities. I used to make the mistake of shying away from challenges and continually running away from things like that . The consequence of that is eventually you end up trapped in a single spot because I continually avoided them.

"The obstacle is the way” -Ryan Holiday-

The very thing that stand in your way becomes the very thing that is meant to help you. The universe has a funny way of operating.

“Give me not an easy life , but the strength to endure a hard one “-Bruce Lee-

Once I accepted that life has challenges and they are meant to grow your mind body and soul . By continually learning to bring ideas to life into the world . You become a vessel for more . The more you give , the more you can receive . Give and take . Push and pull . Through a creative practice , balance is created .

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

You have more control than you think

I wanted to write about this as a topic because its something that I found a lot of value in but it took a while for me to really adopt it because it seemed almost like bullshit. What I’m talking about here is manifestation . Manifestation in the sense that if one takes the time to visualize and anchor their energy in a certain direction of vision . That vision eventually gets created and brought into reality. How often do we spend time to craft and intentionally visualize what it is that we want out of life? How often do we talk about wanting a new house , or job, or future . But what do the details look like? Part of this I’ve learned is from programming the subconscious mind . The subconscious is SO powerful but incredibly elusive . From my understanding it mainly works in the background , as we go about our everyday lives , while we sleep , while we interact with people. It subtly shows us what to look for , it determines some of the minute choices we make . However as powerful as the subconscious mind is , It can be a double edged sword as well. It cannot distinguish good from bad.

“The mind is a wonderful servant , but a terrible master” -Robin S. Sharma-

That’s why I feel like having a regular practice of introspection is so important , it doesn’t matter who you are. People have an inherent nature to want to get better , as long as they are aware . The kicker is you have to be aware. Having a process where you can look into yourself and see what’s going on inside is critical to stepping into a higher version of yourself. Personally for myself this blogging and writing is incredibly cathartic to me . It helps me connect to that intuitive voice inside of me as well as I can deliver value to whoever reads this . At times it reveals to me what thoughts and feelings are running through my mind and spirit and I make small changes . Or I become better are articulating the thoughts I have into an ordered form to bring harmony to the two. Body and mind in one . Anyways that’s it from me . Hope everybody is staying safe during these crazy times . Make sure to take the time to care for yourself . Being locked inside can be tough. Reach out to your friends , go on adventures away from the city , and take this as a time to look inside and reveal what is important to you.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

How to be impervious to life's criticism

Recently listened to a podcast where they went in depth about the career of an African photographer Paul Ninson . It was on The Chase Jarvis Live Podcast & it was incredible to hear his story and his determination to get the things he wanted most out of life and how he relentlessly chased after them . There was one thing that I really resonated with when I was listening to it while prepping my beef stroganoff slow cooker recipe for dinner ( Don’t add cognac into a slow cooker unless you know what your doing ) . There was one part of the podcast where Paul and Chase were discussing what kept Paul going through all the hardships and criticism while he embarked on his career. Everything from friends to collogues saying that the career path he was on wasn’t a good choice. He said something along the lines of “ If you know who you are , where you’ve been , and where your going . Nothing anyone says will slow you down. “

As I was cooking and I heard that I gave a solid imaginary fist bump and AMEN BROTHER to him . I can’t agree with that statement more. Those 3 things are really such a key component to becoming successful in any life endeavor . However the caveat IS that you MUST take the time to figure those 3 things out for yourself . Doing so requires a incredible amount of introspection , discovery , and time to do . It’s not something that can you can come up with overnight and your good to go. It’s something that you got to take the time to dig deep into your being and figure out . I personally connected a lot to what he said because I’ve been through that process of figuring out the answer to those 3 questions . Who am I? Where have I been ? Where am I going? . Now even once you figure out the answer to those questions it will still be an ever evolving process and the answers to those questions might evolve and change and shift based on the experiences you have and people you interact with on your journey. Even if the thing your pursuing right now isn’t the thing you see yourself doing for the rest of your life , you HONE INTO your vision and get closer and closer to the answer . Much like penny spinning on one of those donation machines where it spirals around the hole for a minute or so.

Personally it took me almost 3-4 years of development to find out my trajectory and commit to it. It started the moment I committed to living life on my own terms instead of on the whims and expectations of others. The moment I decided to leave university and pursue something that I felt personally connected to was the moment I made a step towards where I am now. Much like an artist creating a work on a canvas there are countless corrections and adjustments made along the way . Each and every correction reveals something that could be better , or something to avoid . There are no wrong choices when creating a work of art. Just moments of awareness and readjustment . Consistently repeat that over a length of time while anchored to a vision of the future , eventually you will reach the end and you’ll end up where you wanted to be with many things learned which you can leverage and use to make the next project or endeavor even better. This cycle repeats over and over , to produce the masters and experts that we see today . Everything from doctors , entrepreneurs , craftsmen , and everything in between. What matters is that you build a body of work that gets your closer and closer to you ambitions and vision. So with that being said keep that in mind and life will show you the way.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

4 Questions to better understand your life's mission

Been meaning to do these for a while now but I’ve been putting it off , but now that I scheduled it into my calendar it gets done ! Magic how that works…. Anyways I was listening to the Steph Ganowski Podcast & she posed 4 really good questions that I wanted to take the time to go through. Highly recommend listening to her material as it’s brought me incredible amount of value over the past few years .

First one is : What makes you come alive? What excites you?

What makes me come alive is to give someone a tool where they can use it to better their life just as I have with it as well. Nothing bring me more joy than being able to serve someone and see them rise to a higher version of themselves in the same way that I was able to as well. Another thing that makes me come alive is physical challenge , I LOVE to be pushed to my limits physically because its exhilarating to me. For example when I go hiking , the thrill of having to slog up a mountain for hundreds of meters of rock and ice and snow , then to be able to enjoy the view at the top is the best feeling ever. Nothing beats working hard for your goal and a little “celly” at the top to enjoy the view . What excites me is being able to set a vision or goal that I set out to achieve and begin to see the fruit of my labor as I move along towards it. For example right now I work in a business where you have the opportunity to set up a financial foundation for the rest of your life. All it requires is consistent , dedicated focus for a year or two. I always had a vision that I’d want to be an artist and said that I’d create the financial means to support that lifestyle and recently a lot of that has been falling into place which is incredible surreal , humbling , exciting , & invigorating at the same time..

#2 : What are your innate strengths ?

My innate strengths?……Hmm I have to think on that a bit. It sounds counter intuitive but one of my innate strengths is having the humility to know what my weaknesses are . I know what I’m good at and double down on those as well as do my best to delegate out what I’m weak at or intentionally work on it. Another strength of mine would have to be my ability to think outside the box and come up with creative solutions . Creativity has been a skill I continually refine and hone . I love being able to work my way around or through a problem to find an elegant or simple solution. I have always been someone that looks for the solution rather than being sucked into the problem. I never found that to be productive at all. I am always the type of person where if I run into a problem I am going to step back , assess the situation , and make a call. Another strength of mine I would say would be my aggressive nature to improve. I always seek out to get better , learn more , be stronger , faster, smarter. I get a deep sense of joy in the process of growth and that’s what brings me a lot of JOY as well as it helps me connect to my WHY which is … I believe that we are all artists from child to mom to dad to chef to pilot . Whatever we do . The life we live is the canvas used to teach , inspire , and open our eyes to the many eyes of the world that we live in.

#3 : Where do you add the greatest value ? What problems do you love to solve?

I personally love to solve leadership problems . To help people become better leaders in their personal life , business , family's , whatever arena they may occupy . To give people the perspective , tools , and mindset to step into a higher version of themselves much like others have for me brings me a deep sense of contribution. I love to see others grow and in turn they do the same thing for those around them and the effect is a ripple . To see things from that perspective makes the everyday routine connect to a higher purpose. That is what I love to solve , personal development problems . That’s where I bring the most value , where I give people the tools to live a better life in whatever area I happen to touch or at least point them in the right direction.

#4 : How will you measure your life?

A loaded question…. Upon thinking a few things come to mind . One area is financially , from reading the “The Go Giver” . One of the laws of compensation I think its called , says “ Your income will reflect the amount of people you serve and how well you serve them” So on the surface it might sound shallow but the amount of money in my bank account will reflect that. Another way I’ll measure my life is the quality of life of those around me. This will become a reflection of my influence on their life as well as theirs on mine. I want those around me to be succeeding and prospering and living life to the fullest potential . Do they have days that are filled with contribution ? Do they have big bank accounts too? Do they have deep WHY’s driving their behavior ? How are they affecting the ones closet to them? And the last thing I want to measure in my life is the body of work that I’ve created . Whether that be the artwork i create or the podcasts I record , or the books I’ve written , whatever my hands get on and I put out into the world if I don’t have a long body of work to show for that then was I ever really doing anything?

To wrap it up even I learned a little something about myself today as well by going through these questions. I hope that if your reading this you can learn something about my world and I urge you to do the same as well for yourself . So often we get sucked into the routine of the everyday and monotonous . Distractions that take us away from our real life purpose , things that take us away from the things that we REALLLY WANT . How often do we take the time to connect to what’s important to us? Where we want to go ? Who we want to impact ? How many people we want to impact? These are questions that are uncomfortable to answer because they require us to confront where we are now and have the humility to accept reality , however that lends and incredible amount of strength because once you know where you are and you know where you want to go . You are unstoppable. So with that being said….

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

NFT Research Log - March 30 , 2021

Keeping this short since I’m about to go to bed here BUT . Recently came across something called NFT’s ( Non-Fungible Tokens) Basically it opens up huge avenues for art in the future and I want to invest into it for the long game. One thing I can see happening is setting royalties on a NFT art piece and the result is every time that art piece is traded or sold I get a % royalty which I set. Imagine being paid for art you sold for generations to come?! Instead of now where its a one time sale and you don’t get a lick of the proceeds from it moving forward. HOWEVER at the end of the say it IS JUST DIGITAL art. Nothing can replace having a physical art piece being painted and seen in person. BUT the digital can work together with the physical and it can be used to promote the physical piece. That’s something else for sure. So I’lll be doing more thinking about how I want to position my online presence as well as my physical one. Probably will be working with a creative coach for artists to see where I can take this and what It can look like to launch my art off the ground. More to come as I develop and open up more time.

But I gotta make sure I stay focused on my main income stream and develop that into a passive stream that starts to run itself. So as excited as I am to get into this NFT thing . I want to make sure my effort in both areas is intentional and focused and are maintained at a high level . But no harm in planning for the future. Anyways that’s all for now . Keep this updated.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

The story of the 4 blind men and the Elephant

Recording a moment of gratitude in my life . It surreal , its a little bid sad , it’s a little bit happy . A little bit of everything where I am feeling emotional because it means a a lot to me .

Before I share I want to tell a story . Its about the 4 blind men and the elephant . It’s a story I will remember for the rest of my life . I heard it when I was on a meditation retreat about 2 years ago now. It goes a little something like this… There once were 4 blind men . These men were told to figure out what an elephant was. None of the men had ever heard of or even came across an elephant before. So they walked into the room where the elephant was and tried to figure out what an elephant was. One man said “ Oh! an elephant is a long sturdy tree trunk ! “ Another responded “ No no no no , you are wrong an elephant is a thin rope with a brush at the end “ The third blind man responded “ No no no no you are both wrong . An elephant is a smooth curved rod “ And as the 3 blind men sat there an argued the fourth man was curious . He moved around the men as they argued and felt each area they were talking about . He slowly started to understand how each of them were right from their own perspective but also were wrong in the whole understanding. After careful inspection he said “ You are all right ! but you are all also wrong. Elephant is all these parts , you must go around and feel the whole creature to understand what it is “ .

It’s a simple story that’s always stuck with me. Everyone you come across is a teacher to you in a some way , every single person has a different view on life and I’m grateful for the things I’ve been able to learn from others .Today I had part ways , not forever but just in this business , with someone who I grew very fond of over the time I knew him. He was on my team and he quit today to pursue his dream of becoming a pro basketball player. One of his camps was opening up soon and he was prepping to get ready for training for the league. I am filled with immense gratitude for the things he’s taught me in our time together. He made me step up to a better version of myself and deepened my joy of coaching and developing people. Over my time of knowing him I saw him grow , I went with him through challenges. I saw him succeed and have incredible weeks as well as slow weeks. I supported him through his journey and it brought me a lot of joy that I could deeply influence his life in a better way that will stick with him for the rest of his life. Today I really connected with my life purpose . I really felt the deep joy it felt to see someone benefit from their time with me and go chase their own dreams. I feel almost like a dad LOL ahahah :D . To mentor someone , influence them , and see a positive impact on someone is deeply gratifying. It’s kinda selfish but not at the same time. Today really showed me that I’m doing the right thing and deepened my commitment to my mission. I believe that we’re all artists and the life we live is the canvas used to inspire other people. So you’ll probably never read this Eddie but thank you for all you’ve taught me and helped me become , I wish you the best in your journey my friend . Anyways that’s all that’s on my mind before I go to bed here . It’s a little past my bedtime. But anyways good night and till next time.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

Work hard , Play hard

What . A . Fucking . Week. There’s times where all this effort I put towards achieving my goal & making my vision come true is goddamn exhausting . All the meetings , developing others , personal development & more. Fuck sometimes I just want to stop doing it all because I just want to relax. BUT I also realize that I haven’t been taking the time to recharge myself and ask myself what helps me feel rejuvenated . My current mindset is that II just want to relax and not put in the effort today . I’m doing a bit of a perspective shift here and instead of saying “How can I just chill today ? “ changing that to “ How can i find ways to rejuvenate myself today . Being aggressive and proactive with my emotions and energy is very key . Not finding blame but rather taking responsibility and taking ownership of it . By doing that II gain power over my situation rather than giving my power away and blaming it on external things. Everything in my world is my fault . So very valuable lesson I learned today and grateful for the experience. Onto the next thing.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

Good.

Been running into the challenge of not consistently writing in my blog . I set a yearly goal of 52 blog pots in a year and I’m a little behind on my goal to be honest . I felt myself getting a little disappointed in myself that I fell behind a bit but I quickly brought it back by approaching it with the mindset of GOOD. I adopt this heavily from Jocko Willink . He’s a huge inspiration to me , if you’ve read his books or know of him . YOU KNOW , If you don’t well get on it because the ideas and values Jocko talks about and lives into has made a incredible impact on my life .

That mindset is this , the challenges you run into , the obstacles you face , the shortcomings that you have to overcome , all those are good for you. And you should embrace it ! I have the perspective that everything is here to help me . A type of inverse paranoia so to speak. The fact that I am having troubles with implementing a new habit is exciting to me because it shows me that I have a new area to work on . It gives me an opportunity to strengthen my discipline . Of course any opportunity to gain more discipline in my life .

So if your having trouble starting a new workout routine , GOOD. If your having troubles manging your spending habits, GOOD. If your business is not doing so well , GOOD. It shows you an area you need to work on pressure is a privelige . The universe has a funny way of giving you hard situations to make your life easier .

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

Keep track to stay on track

Going to keep it short and sweet today . I wanted to share one huge thing that has gained me a lot of success in the past few months ever since I started doing it . And that is tracking my progress towards my goals. It’s been instrumental to seeing my growth , building my motivation , & creating my confidence.

I believe the most creative canvas we have to work with is ourselves . Our routines , our habits , our goals , our relationships , who we impact , & the list goes on. So one thing I’ve been doing is spending more time crafting out who I want to be down the road and what has to happen today in order for me to take one step closer to that vision every single day. Which brings me to my point , which is tracking your progress toward your goal . How many kilometers left until I reach my running goal for the month? How many blog post have I made this week? Have I started packing my kitchen yet for the move?

We all want to be better in some way or another . The only way to do that is to know where we are today and where we need to go. So write down your goals , manifest them into reality , & look at them everyday . It brings confidence in yourself because you start to see yourself moving towards the outcome you want. You start to make the invisible visible . You create the life that YOU want to live . So get out there , write your goals , and get to work.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

A ship at sea

Weekly reflection …

Definitely had some victories this week , as well as some lessons learned. One victory I had I gained a huge milestone in my self confidence. At work , I’ve found a groove that I can fit nicely into and I found a flow that works for me. I’ve been able to consistently maintain my positive attitude throughout the whole week. That’s a huge win . I feel like if you haven’t built the resilience and have solid mental & emotional anchors in place for your life . Your at the mercy of the wind. Which brings me to my point .

An effective ship crew ( at least back in the old days ) required a couple things in order to be a successful team. I’ve started to see myself more holistically , as a series of interconnected systems that intertwine with each other. Much like a good crew of sailors. Is the ship clean? Do the sailors on board have the discipline to maintain a tidy ship despite the chaos of the ocean? Have they taken the time to make sure the equipment is working properly & kept up? Could something be improved and made better ? What role models can we look to for inspiration? Are we going in the right direction? How long will it take? Many questions to be answered. The common thread though is that it is all conducive to a positive , growth focused environment.

I see myself as well as others , as a bunch of boats roaming around the sea like the Pirates of the Caribbean . Shoutout to Jack Sparrow . We all have different destinations with different sized boats. In search of a variety of things . Some are content on land never to venture out to sea , while others couldn’t be paid to stay still. So my focus for today is to dock on land for a bit , see what supplies are needed , make sure my crew is taken care of , and plot course for the next island.

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

A BIGGER CANVAS TO PAINT

Recently I’ve been doing a lot of planning and visualization of the future. Things like what I want my house to look like , what I want the studio to look like , my ideal relationship , my impact and contribution to others , my career , fitness , finances , & a whole host of other things . To be honest it was a little uncomfortable at first to paint that picture and actually feel , smell , color , and build what that vision that I wanted for myself would look like. I always had an idea what I wanted and what it would look like but to actually put the work in to see what that would look like down to the last detail was a whole other game. It wasn’t something that I could get done in an hour and call it a day . Funny how how much work it is to visualize what you want to work towards , gave me a good chuckle.

Something happens when you have a clear vision to work towards. It feel like I have more clarity about what to do in the present moment. The day to day makes more sense when I have a clear end goal to work towards. I feel aligned to my purpose . Definitely no easy feat, it’s been about 2 years in the making since I really started to take my life seriously. I always knew that I wanted to be “successful” just never knew how to do that. Back to now where I spend time crafting that future for myself brings me back to my mission which is that I believe we’re all artists and our lives are the canvas we use to inspire others. On that , I took a good look at the canvas I had painted , all the mistakes I had made , the accidental strokes of genius , & the dedication required to get to where I am. That’s where I noticed that I had outgrown my canvas . I was running out of white space and I had filled all the space I had . It was time to expand . To think a little bigger , to set my sights on bigger goals. A little scary at first because to do that it requires to step outside your comfort zone . It demands you step outside what you know into the unknown , it can feel scary . Change can feel scary … But I keep a anchor in my mind always and that is , If you always do what you’ve always done , you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Call me stubborn but there’s no way in hell that I want to be exactly where I am now 1 year from today , let alone 1 day from today. Relentless in advancing towards a better self. Always. One step everyday , and by the time you’ve looked back you’ll have realized you’ve made it a long way . So enjoy the view ☺, take it in , and lets get back to work. Figure out what tools you need on the next part of your journey . What’s been weighing you down that no longer serves you? Do you need any guides for the next part of the journey? What new skills do you need to learn to overcome the challenges ahead? Is this the correct path to go? So whatever your journey may look like . Have fun and …

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

The Path of Discipline

Woke up this morning & as I was going for my morning run . I thought , how incredible it felt to be back on the path again. For the past week or so , I picked up a small habit that I noticed was starting to escalate. Normally I would hear my alarm , get right up and start my day . However this past week I started noticing that I would snooze for 5 minutes after the alarm had gone off. As the week went on it started to go to 7 minutes, then to 10, then to 15 , then to 30 minutes, eventually it reached an hour . Man….what a disruption that was. My whole morning routine was thrown off. I didn’t have as much time to read. I didn’t have much time to get a full exercise in . I didn’t have as much time to enjoy my breakfast. I felt rushed to get my routine done in time for my morning calls for work. It is SO EASY to stray off the path. However I realized it’s just as easy to get back on. everything starts with minuscule seemingly insignificant choices. What I’ve learned is that big changes are really just a large collection of very small choices. Small stones build the world’s greatest wonders .

I’m starting to connect again to a part of myself that was always there, always ready to get better , to get stronger, faster, smarter. To become brighter. However I’m aware that there is something standing in teh way of that. It’s not as easy to schedule a meeting with that part of myself. There must be a gatekeeper I must overcome. That gatekeeper is resistance. As Steven Pressfield calls it “Resistance”. I would like to revisit that book once I’m done Creative Calling ( Chase Jarvis ) & Leadership Strategy & Tactics ( Jocko Willink ) . “Resistance” as far as I understand it is this force that tells us its okay that we didn’t set out what we set out to do. Its the voice that tells us “ You can do that thing you wanted to do tomorrow, it’s not like it’s going anywhere right?” . To be honest I fall prey to it’s reasoning at times. I believe the rationale it tells me . It makes sense even. I believe that in order to conquer an enemy . One must name the enemy & identify its face. Till we meet again “Resistance” I respect you as an adversary , and as such I will stay on vigilant watch.

As I wrap this up , discipline is many things to me . Discipline is an art. Discipline is connecting who are now to who you desire to be . Discipline is overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of your goals. Discipline is freedom . As I learn , grow , experience new things, set my sights on bigger goals, and bring more people along with the journey with me . I humbly express my gratitude , to the ones that taught me the value of a life well lived. Gratitude to the experiences that showed me that I’m capable of so much more . Gratitude to the knowledge passed down from many as it reached me . Gratitude to the life I’ve been blessed to live , as well as the challenges in the future that grow my mind, body & spirit . As well as gratitude to whoever reads this , I hope you can gain some inspiration , motivation , or a perspective that opens up your world a little more. Adds a dash of color to your canvas , spices up your recipes , or pushes you closer to your highest potential . Thank you for reading about a little slice of my life. And as always …

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

Trip Journal

(Old post from 2018 )

Intentions going into my meditation 

Dissolve the ego 

Put compassion & wisdom in the heart of my being 

I'll be combining this is Vippassana Meditation and seeing where its takes me . I know i'm not supposed to mix this technique with anything. But why? 

I' was told not to take what anyone says as truth unless I;ve experienced it myself . So let me experience for myself what the effects of this are 

I'll be doing a trial period with binural beats as well and seeing where that takes me . 

But first Vipassana Meditation effects first . 

Then Binural beats 

Approach this like a scientist 

We have a control , manipulated , and variable . 

In we go . 

.

Respect what vipassana teaches you . I understand now. The law of thangma . 

thank you buddha :) 

life will give you it's insights when you are ready. There is no rush, it won't come any faster. It won't come any slower. Just at the right pace. Be present , enjoy where the present is taking you. Teaching you. Every moment becomes the teacher. 

I understand Vipassana from one aspect now. Mine one of many . All of the same picture , from different angles .

The one that I give? The artist. One that truly resonates with me not from an egotistical point of view but as a humble one . A very humble one. I merely serve as the bridge from one world to another . 

Another thought chain, these realizations about myself that I'm coming to. are through the use of LSD, I'm aware that i'm using an external substance to come to internal realiations. This will cause a craving if i'm not careful. As for aversion , the mental affects of it afterwards? I'm still documenting . 

Ego's now dissolving , interesting. I'm fully aware that there is no
SELF. through my own self realizastion. spelling is awful but thats okay. 

Revival

Probably should head to bed soon here , I don’t like looking at screen before bed . It’s crazy to see the things I was up to 2 years ago . I’m excited to be reviving this website and i’ll be taking some time to make a couple changes to the whole layout. More to be done later. For now a blog for sure . More ideas to come later .

Stay Humble , Stay Blessed

Reflection

What a fun day :). I got to face a lot of my demons today when I was in the field. Now I decided to knock until 8 . What I noticed going through my head when I was making sales was that my intention got bumped off centre. I began to want to make sales in order to prove something to everyone in the office. I noticed a thought come up “ If i make I sale I can blast it and prove to everyone how hard I work”. Reflecting on that now I see that Is not a sustainable motivating factor to base my sales off of. I noticed that when I used that as an external motivating force , It didn’t last me till 8 . I see how using external factors for motivation , at least in this case, is something that I don’t want to resort to when it comes to finding fuel to move myself forward. So the real question is what do I want to use to move myself roward? I want to be able to tap into the strength of the big goals I have and visions for myself . I want to be able to follow what Jamie Hepp said , Something along the lines of “The money, fame, recognition, prestige , & power don’t matter, Its the people you help develop” That is what really resonated with me when I asked him a question when he came in.

Another thing to is that everyday I go into work it feels like I take one step up on a staircase, One step at a time very slowly but steadily. I love the growth that happens here in me. I love how this work puts me in a place where I can fully take control of how I operate in the workplace and choose how fast I grow in this job. I notice how my role is starting to shift and change as I grow in this business . When I first started I was focusing on the sales skills aspect of the job. I was learning bits and pieces that would help me make sales. But now my role is starting to transition out of that and into the training aspect of things. I like this because I’m starting to put more focus into getting into the mindset of someone who trains. I even started asking myself what type of goals would a training leader have that I can embody? How does a training leader think? How does a training leader approach different people and provide coaching that will suit their learning style and say it in a way that they will be receptive to it. I love the teacher hat,

Speaking of hats , I spoke with Luc the other day and talked with him about his day to day and what he does at the office. I really liked how he said he had to put on different hats when it came time to do different roles at work. I liked that because I don;t liked being confined to a box at all. I like to try different things and meet different people and challenge myself every day. I love that aspect of the work. I love how I can go to the field and learn something new everyday whether its from the office or the field. I choose to see the places that will eventually lead me to ownership. Ownership is such a far off thing to me yet I haven’t really asked myself what I want to do once I get there. I mean I’ve talked about it but not really expanded on what that might feel like of what that might look like.

Ideally I go into the office and manage what I need to and then I dip out for the rest of the day to focus on other things. The thing that I want though is to still be involved with the people at my work instead of just being a ghost there. I guess you have no choice? Nah there is always a choice. I have to ask myself the important questions here. which I’ll then put into my binder. What type of culture do I want to create in the office? How do I embody principles and values in what I do and how I do it everyday? How can I become a become for the rest of the office to use a role model but find their own style to as well. I feel like the more that I begin to look at the big picture of what happens at this office the more that I can be very intentional about what my next move is and how I want to go about making my moves. After talking with some of the other people at my office It was really interesting to see what goes on in multiple different streams of circles at work. You have the newer people who seem to like to banter about stuff outside of work and like to have fun but there seems to be a lack of direction with them. I think that is one of the biggest factors of whether someone stays or not . Whether they can build up their own motivation and find their own reasons for staying and not just following what someone else tells them to do because they are told to do so..

One of the things that I love about this workplace is that there is so much depth to this place. There is so much depth in how you can grow and how you choose to grow. So much to learn when it comes to building a life for yourself and learning to work with others. Every single step of the process requires a different version of yourself that you have to create. Every different challenge that you face while you are working here will require me to grow and change into a person that is one step closer to the person I want to be at the end. At the end of this I have no idea who I’ll be at the end of this. I have no idea how much can change of the course of a year. I mean to be realistic I have no idea how much I would change within the last 4 months here. Like the amount that I;ve learned and the amount that I’ve shifted perspectives while here has been incredible. One thing that I want to get into is more of the strategy side of things. I love getting into strategy and planning and creating action steps. I love that part. I love to organize and put things in the right environment for them to grow . I love that part of the work. I love how I get to challenge myself how i see fit and how I also didn’t see fit as well. Lots of the things I learn are going to be the things that I need when I get to ownership and beyond.

I;m so grateful to have found this place and lucky to have found it. So many things I learn as I do my work door to door. . LIke when I talked to Daniel about meditation , It was really comforting to hear that I still had the presence . I never saw that aspect of myself and It made me feel really good when he said that. I didn’t realize I had still “had it” ever since leaving the university. It feels like I’ve slipped a lot from where I was when I went to Vipassana , but then again the course was incredibly intense.

Lots more to discuss, till tommorow

Stay humble , stay blessed.